I moved to this country 10 years ago. November 13th, 2013. The day that I left. While on board my plane right before departing, I remember looking out the window of the plane and feeling the biggest empty space I have ever felt inside of me. It was the end. A real end. Nothing would ever be the same. On the other side of that window was my entire family—

literally everyone I had ever known and loved, people I grew up with. There, on the other side of the window were all the future birthdays of my nieces and nephews. There, too, were all the memories that would soon start to vanish slowly. Very slowly. Outside that window, I knew there was an entire life of missed events. Nothing I could do. Nothing I wanted to do. This was my decision. I had to go. I had to (almost literally) fly away to a new world — a world of my own. A world I thought I knew all about but didn’t know anything at all.

So many tears, like so, so many tears. Pain—pain that feels heavy and deep inside your chest that I still struggle to explain. Pain that will never leave me. The pain that comes from leaving what you love behind.

I moved to this country 10 years ago. Time goes by, as always, and flowers start to grow. First little branches, then rain and lakes form. You can only get in and learn to live in that new water. You can only keep going. One more year goes by, and the pain is still there, but at the same time, you find yourself laughing in a new language, hugging someone you thought only existed in the movies, a new friend who doesn’t speak the language you used to speak. It’s all new yet so normal. It never stops being new, but it starts feeling normal again. My eyes one day got tired of crying. Growth hurts. Real growth hurts deep inside your soul, and that’s okay. Your tears matter. Your tears water your own flowers—flowers you can cut and put in the middle of the kitchen table and realize it’s all okay. This path is the good path; this path is our path. This path is the one I chose, and here, with my tears and all, I smile for all that is yet to come.

My origin story is one of new beginnings. My origin story is about what it feels to discover a new world. It is about the pain that comes from leaving what you love behind and the joy of finding a new sun. These lines, like whispers from another realm, tell a story that shifts with the changing light and perspective. These lines represent my life in this new world. In this piece I explore the idea of something I learned through this journey; That light is just as guaranteed as darkness.

That the delicate dance of reflections and shadows, both beautiful and hard to assimilate, echoes the duality of joy and pain I have embraced.

As the light shifts, so too do the meanings within — the dark, solid block inside grounding me, while the radiant lines lead me forward, reminding me that both light and shadow are essential parts of this journey.